Rain & Roses
by Noctuary
Summary: It's hard when everyone sees you as something you are not. Caterina Valentine isn't stupid, but it seems as if the world disagrees. How can a fragile girl cope once exposed to the not-so-hidden evils of society, and more importantly, who helps carry her along the way? Rain helps the flowers grow, and that is something Cat must learn as she struggles through a thing called life.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Trigger warning! This story does contain mentions of self-harm and other related topics, please steer clear if you are not comfortable reading such content. Hope you all enjoy the first chapter! Keep in mind I'm writing this mainly to pull different sides from the characters, not necessarily for** **plot** **. Please R &R with suggestions, ideas or opinions.**_

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Cat sat hunched over a pile of homework, her shoulders slumped forward and her head tilted at an obscure, almost uncomfortable, angle as she studied one of the many papers before her. It was one in the morning, and she had spent a majority of her evening staring helplessly at each worksheet she fished from her bag. None of the words on the page made sense to her swimming eyes and her mind seemed to twist each question to the point where she could scarcely understand what it was about. Hours had been spent pouring over books and staring in deep, intense concentration at problems that should be easy, problems that were easy for everyone but her.

Academic work had always been a problem for Cat. It's not as if she were stupid, but rather that she had trouble forcing her mind to focus on the material for very long before it buffered and skipped to other topics against her will. To add to her mounting frustration, seemingly her entire class could squeeze answers from the problems with ease and would give her judging glares when she turned up in class with an empty worksheet and an exasperated mask on her features.

Cat was tired of being the stupid one, the airhead of the school that everyone treated like a three-year-old because they believed that her mental capabilities matched those of a toddler. The only person who didn't see Cat as a blind toddler was Jade. Everyone else acted as if the artificial redhead had no idea what their all-to-obvious exchanged glances and grins were about. She knew they were about her, about something she had said or done that they believed warranted the need for her to be called out in a non-verbal manner that was far from discreet. It fucking hurt.

Jade did not see Cat as a clueless child trapped in the crossfire of stupidity and immaturity though. Jade simply saw Cat as someone who rose above the corrupt and cruel ways of the world. Someone who could walk through the darkness and pretend the sun was shining. Someone who knew there was cruelty and hatred enveloping society, yet was brave enough to ignore it while everyone else chose to wallow in its shadowy hands. Jade knew Cat held wisdom in her every bone, and that it was expressed in a childlike way because she did not let the bad in the world corrupt her.

Cat wished dearly for Jade at this moment; she wished Jade were here to show her she was not stupid, but that she just did not learn as everyone else did. She wished Jade would come and make the content on the papers under her uneasy gaze suddenly make sense.

That didn't matter though because Jade wasn't here, the content was just a mess of printed black words to her, and she had already given up. With an angry, strangled whimper she swiped her hand across the desk and sent the mountain of papers and books crumpling to the floor with a cushioned thud. She slid down in her chair and tucked her chin into her heaving chest as tears formed a glassy film over her eyes and slid down her reddened cheeks. It wasn't fucking fair. It wasn't fair that everyone else had it so easy and she was forced to struggle upon every word she read.

"I'm stupid," She whimpered pitifully as she turned her crooked, blurry gaze to the mountain of now crumpled, folded sheets of paper on the carpet. She kicked a book that had landed near her feet with a grunt and sent it scurrying over the rug and into the wall with a clap as its cover met wood.

It was then her eyes met the pencil sharpener that had been a victim of the mass assault performed by a frustrated Cat. The redheaded girl bent down and picked it up carefully and noticed that the blade had been knocked out on its descent to the floor. She discarded the plastic case on her desk and searched warily for the sharp object that surely lay somewhere among the folded books and abused worksheets. Her tired eyes finally traced its sharp, prominent edges lying a foot away from the rubble on the shaggy carpet, a glint of artificial light reflecting off its upturned side and projecting a shimmer of light on the wall.

She bent down carefully and grasped it cautiously in her thumb and forefinger, her brows furrowed as she tried to work out just where her mind was going with this. Her thoughts were racing ahead of what she was able to comprehend in such short time, and her body seemed to be following, and when she finally retrieved the blade, she began wondering just what the motive of her interest in this object was.

It clicked suddenly as her mind snapped into place and her subconscious informed her conscious thoughts just why she wanted this. To make that agonizing little voice inside her head shut up, to drown it out by focusing on something else. After all, it's hard to concentrate on anything when there's blood coming out of you.

So maybe it was unlike Cat Valentine to do such a thing, and perhaps she was falling down a path that could have been avoided. Had she just phoned her best friend or curled up to take a rest she might not have found herself in such a situation, but sometimes we do not think about our actions before we make them. Sometimes all rational thought trickles out of our ears, and all we can do is listen to that one little voice banging on the walls of our brain screaming "just fucking do it."


	2. Chapter 2

**~Hello Readers! I was shocked to get 2 reviews already, I love the feedback! SO I know y'all want our baby Cat to be safe BUT it wouldn't be a story without some drama... Don't worry, you won't hate me... Too much. Let me know if you guys want a CADE romance or just friendship, I can pull the story in either direction. Please enjoy!~**

The tiny piece of metal hovered hesitantly over her upturned wrist, shaking in her suddenly tense and anxious fingers. She had thought about doing this as a means of release before, hell she'd even imitated the action with an eraser before her conscious thoughts reasoned her out of it, but she'd never been this upset before. See there comes a time when you reach the end of your rope. It's like the string hanging off the end of a firework, every time it is lit on fire it gets closer and closer to the inevitable explosion, except the burst is not one of lights and color, but of emotion.

The edge of the blade glinted in the pale, artificial light given by the lamp on her table as if it were flashing her a smile, whispering to her "come on do it, it'll make you feel better." So she did the only thing she could do at that moment, the only thing that made sense.

It kissed her skin with a sudden and sharp stinging bite and Cat, whose threshold for pain was less than average, jumped and immediately dropped the sharp blade back onto the carpet. Her hazelnut eyes wavered for a moment and then focused warily on the gash she had made in her wrist. It was short in length but deep, and heavy crimson blood sprinted out of it and down her arm to pool in the crook of her elbow.

She sat in her desk chair for a while, mesmerized by what she had done to herself. Captivated by the idea she was capable of inflicting this type of harm upon her own body. Innocent, little Caterina Valentine perhaps wasn't so innocent after all. A thought she liked because it negated everything everyone else seemed to think about her. That she was an innocent, stupid little girl caught up in a fabricated world.

The sudden ringing of her phone snapped her from this daze though as she balanced her arm carefully over her lap and leaned over her desk to peer at the screen. She knew exactly who it was, but for once she wished it wasn't that person. Jade.

Although she was good at acting Cat had never been very extraordinary in the field of lying, after all, acting was simply pretending, but lying was wrong and it hurt people. All the same, though she did not want Jade to find out what she had been doing to herself, the black haired girl had enough problems as it was. Besides that, Jade would certainly make her stop, and Cat did not want to stop because then that damn voice would be back telling her how worthless she is and this seemed to be the only way to cease its hurtful cries.

Cat wrapped her free hand around the glass rectangle and tentatively pressed the tiny green button answering the call. As much as she dreaded lying to her best friend, perhaps her only friend, she knew ignoring the call would only raise more suspicion. And suspicion is a pesky thing because when people get suspicious, they investigate, and when they investigate they discover things.

"Hello," Cat squeaked quietly, her breath lingering in her throat causing her to choke on every syllable.

"Hey Cat, I was just calling to make sure you're alright," Jade drawled, her words flat and monotone as usual. Cat had come to understand Jade portrayed her emotion solely in her face, the tilt of her lips and the glint of her eyes. It was there, but it was carefully hidden. A defense mechanism some would say.

"Uhm what do you mean? Of course I'm OK," Cat coughed quickly, her heart climbing into her throat and banging on her ribs as she had the sudden, and rather ridiculous, thought that Jade somehow knew what she been up to.

"That's a first, Cat not being scared shitless during a thunderstorm."

Cat frowned when the profanity slipped through her speaker and dangled in the air by her ears. She hated when the girl cursed. The unwelcome expletive was soon forgotten though as a low rumble of thunder growled through the trees and banged on her window. She hadn't even noticed the ominous, loitering clouds outside until Jade had pointed them out. Perhaps this new coping method was more effective than she thought. It was almost as if the world had melted away around her, all that was left was her, the blade, and the blood.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the phone huffed impatiently. Cat snapped back into reality as she quickly shook her head and blinked her thoughts away.

"Hi, sorry, I'm-," A sudden crash of thunder rattled the house, it sounded as if a giant had raised his mighty foot and slammed it into the ground. Cat whimpered and clutched her phone to her chest as if the tiny device was capable of shielding her from the storm.

"I'm coming over Kitty," Jade cooed quietly, her words velvet and cotton as she attempted to comfort the redhead whom she assumed was either hysterical or shocked. California experienced its share of storms, but this one seemed to be smashing the records. It was dangerous on the roads, in fact, not a single pair of headlights bobbed down the pavement, but to Jade, any risk seemed worth it to protect the tiny girl.

What a moment it was when Jade found out the only thing Cat needed protection from was from herself.


End file.
